“They say true love only comes around
once and you have to hold out and be strong until then.
I have been waiting. I have been
searching. I am a man under the moon, walking the streets of earth until
dawn.
There’s got to be someone for me. It’s
not too much to ask. Just someone to be with. Someone to
love... Someone to give everything to...Someone…"
10th Standard
As I sat there in the English class, I stared at the girl sitting next
to me. She was my very good friend. I stared at her for long. Almost lost in
her. I wished she was my girlfriend. But she didn’t look upon me like that, and
I knew it very well. She didn’t know that her simple “Hi” increased my heart
beats, and that smile flashed in front of my eyes for another period. I knew
she won’t ever know this feeling of mine for her.
One day, after class she walked up to me and asked me for the class
notes she had missed the day before. I handed them to her. She said, “Thank
you” and patted me on my cheek. I wanted to tell her, I wanted to know her that
I don’t want to be just friends, I love her but I’m just too shy, and I don’t
know why.
12th Standard
As I sat there, in the hall for our farewell gathering, I saw her. She
was looking like an angel. With that smile on her face, I almost forgot myself for a
while. I wished she was my girlfriend. But she didn’t look upon me like that,
and I knew it very well. . I knew she won’t ever know this feeling of mine for
her. After the farewell, she came to me. Smiled. N said, “Stay in touch…” and
patted me on my cheek. I wanted to tell her, I wanted to know her that I don’t
want to be just friends now, I love her but I’m just too shy, and I don’t know
why.
1st year College
The day before garba night she walked to me and said, “My garba partner
is sick, he's not going to go well, I didn't have a partner as of now, and in
8th standard, we made a promise that if neither of us had partner, we would go
together just as best friends" So we did. That night, after everything was
over, I dropped her home. I was standing at her front door step. I stared
at her as she smiled at me and stared at me for a while with her crystal
eyes. I want her to be mine, but she isn't thinking of me like that, and I know
it. Then she said "I had the best time, thanks" and patted me on the
cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just
friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.
Graduation Day
A day passed, then a week, then a month. Before I could blink, it was
graduation day. I wanted her to be mine, but she didn't notice me like that,
and I knew it. Before everyone went home, she came to me in her smock and hat,
and cried as I hugged her. Then she lifted her head from my shoulder and said,
"You’re my best friend, thanks" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I
want to tell her, that very moment, I want her to know that I don't want to be
just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.
Working Life
The phone rang. On the other end, it was her. She was in tears, mumbling
on and on about how her love had broken her heart. She asked me to talk with
her for a while because she didn't want to be alone, so I did. As I talked with
her, her soft eyes, her smile, flashed in front of me. After 2 hours, with
revisiting happy school days, she decided to go to sleep. Before hanging the
phone, She paused for a while, said "Thank You". I missed her touch
on my cheek this time. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want
to be just friends anymore, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know
why.
A Few Years Later
I attended her wedding. That girl got married. I watched her getting
married and drive off to her new life, married to another man. I wanted her to
be mine, but she didn't see me like that, and I knew it. But before she drove
away, she came to me and said "Am glad you came!" She said
"Thanks" and patted me on the cheek. My heart was screaming.
I want to tell her, shout to her, I want her to know that I don't want to be
just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.
Funeral
Years passed, I looked down at the coffin of a girl who used to be my
"best friend". At the service, they read a diary entry she had wrote
in her high school years. This is what it read: “I stare at him wishing he
was mine, but he doesn't notice me like that, and I know it. I want to tell
him, I want him to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love him but
I'm just too shy, and I don't know why. I wish he would tell me he loved me! I
wish I did too...”
I thought to myself, and I cried.
(Dedicated to all those people who are still waiting for confessing
their feeling to their loved ones.
Time has no answer for words left unsaid. This moment, is all you got,
go tell them…)
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